My Mother-in-law's Potato Salad

by Lorraine Triggs

My mother’s slide into dementia was gradual. I noticed it more in what turned out to be her last extended visit with us. And it was around this time of year.

She really wasn’t comfortable coming to church, so that particular Sunday, we turned the radio to WETN, turned the volume way up and headed to church.

Before I left, I took out my recipe card for my mother-in-law’s potato salad and set it on the counter next to a bowl. I also put the potatoes in the pot on the stove.

“What can I do?” my mom asked anxiously. During this visit, I discovered that Mom was the happiest when she had simple tasks to do.

“Nothing yet. You can help me make the potato salad when we’re home from church,” I assured her.

“What can I do?” she asked again.

“Just wait till we’re home,” I repeated.

When we returned, I walked into the kitchen to start the water boiling for the potatoes—no pot on the stove. And the kitchen looked a lot cleaner than how I left it.

“Mom?” I called. “What did you do with the potatoes in the pot?”

“They’re in the refrigerator,” she replied calmly. “But I had to use a bigger bowl.”

Now I was getting scared and made Wil open the refrigerator. . . .

He pulled out a bowl of perfectly made potato salad. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

“Your mother-in-law knows how to make a good potato salad,” my mom pointed out.

We laughed.

Here’s my mother-in-law’s famous potato salad.

• 5 lbs. boiling potatoes                                  
• 1 dozen eggs                                                     
• 8 stalks of celery (tops included)                              
• 1-2 large onions
• 6-8 dill pickles
• 1 qt mayonnaise (or less depending on your preference)
• 1-2 T mustard
• a dash of pickle juice
• salt and pepper to taste

Boil potatoes in jackets. Cool thoroughly. Peel and cut into bite-size pieces. Boil eggs 10-15 minutes; immediately immerse in ice cold water. Peel and chop and add to potatoes. Chop celery (including tops), onion and pickles. Add to eggs and potatoes. Add mayonnaise to taste. Add mustard, pickle juice salt and pepper. Stir mixture thoroughly—She always said to use your hands to mix it. Refrigerate until well chilled.

Two Parties

The month of May is full of family celebrations and parties--Mother's Day, graduations, spring weddings and Memorial Day cook-outs. In her post, Cheryce Berg writes about two parties and the best "party" invitation we will ever receive.

I observed two parties today, one right after the other. All were invited, but only some came.

The first involved a story teller who wore a blue bathrobe--the "Jesus Robe"--and stood in front of dozens of adults from around the world. Whispers in many languages surrounded me as I studied the beautiful shades of brown skin and prayed for softened hearts to what what they would soon hear. 

The wine ran out, the coins were spent, and the so-called friends stripped the younger son of his robe and left. He begged for disgraceful work but soon grew tired of it, his belly craving something other than the pig food he had before him. Meanwhile, the father stood at home, his hands shielding the sun from his eyes so he could look the distance. Watching, waiting, loving, longing. The older son kept digging.

The younger son came back slowly, dejectedly, begging. The father rushed to meet him and held him close, tears on both faces. Food was called for, robes were found, work stopped. There was love and laughter and forgiveness and grace. The older son was invited to join in, but he kept digging. 

The storyteller explained to my friends and me the love of the Father, the One who forgives and waits and longs for restoration. She told how all are invited, but only some come. She challenged those of us who are “older sons” to give grace and to welcome in those who need more forgiveness. She begged us to stop digging and join the party when they are restored. In silence, I prayed fervently for my friend at my side, wearing her Muslim head covering. I prayed that she would one day join the party and that I would be there to celebrate.

The story ended and my friends and I walked to a different classroom for another party. Some things were the same: there was food, laughter, gifts and grace. It was the last day of ESL classes, and there were thank-yous to be said, certificates to be distributed and ethnic foods to be exclaimed over. We ate together, squeezing in last words and hugs, eyes meeting across the table in shared memories and laughter. I ached for my friends who didn’t come, who were too busy. They were missing the party.

My heart felt full—of  joy or tears—I couldn’t tell as I sat at the second party and reflected on the first. Who of these friends would join me at the final party, the day when we go home to the Father? Am I too busy digging instead of seeking them out to tell them he is watching, waiting, loving, and longing for them? Have I shown them his invitation to the party?

And he said to him, "Son, you are always with me, and all that is mine is yours. It was fitting to celebrate and be glad, for this your brother was dead, and is alive; he was lost, and is found.” (Luke 15:31-32)

Thoughts from a College Church Cook

Julie Busteed first learned how to cook for crowds while attending Moody Church in Chicago. She brought her love of cooking to College Church, when she and her husband, Todd, became part of the church family here.

Julie Busteed loves what happens around food and a meal together. "There's something about food, about eating together. Relationships happen and connections are made in sharing the meal." 

If you've been around College Church for any length of time, there's a good chance that you've enjoyed one of Julie's meals.

"I remember cooking dinners for Summerfest back in the early 2000s with Jymette Seager, Lynn Kubat and Shelly Wildman," Julie recalls. The list of ministries for which Julie has cooked doesn't stop there. Julie has created meals for STARS events, missions festivals, Keenagers, Visitors Brunch, children's ministries appreciation dinners, HYACKs, Women's Bible Study and the Workshop for Biblical Exposition.

"One of my greatest joys is to have good food, real food, that nourishes the body in a venue that nourishes family and friendship," Julie relates. And if you've ever eaten Julie's pork tenderloin with chimichurri sauce, goat cheese mashed potatoes, roasted asparagus or Brussels sprouts and spice cake with cream cheese frosting, you know what Julie is talking about.

Julie is in her element--Commons Kitchen getting ready to prepare a scrumptious meal.

Many of Julie's recipes are from classic chefs Ina Garten (the Barefoot Contessa) and Julia Child. In fact, Julie's favorite piece of advice for cooks is from Julia Child, who said, "Make no apologies." Julie explains, "Never apologize for anything. If you burn something, then that's the way it was meant to be served."

Julie also adds her own wisdom, "When you're cooking for people, don't be a stressed-out host. Plan a meal so you can enjoy it with your guests. It's all right to leave one or two dishes for the last minute, but not the whole meal."

Whether Julie is opening her home to guests or preparing a meal for someone in need or cooking for a crowd at church, she opens her heart and, from her perspective, "Food becomes the vehicle to set in motion the truly important things of family and friendship." Thanks, Julie for sharing your heart and your meals with the church family.

Finding Family in the Church

OneWord Journal welcomes this post by Alyssa Carlburg, who did find work in Wheaton. Alyssa is the development/communications assistant at Mission Eurasia.

Growing up in College Church, I never really thought of the church as a family. But that changed when I graduated from Hope College in May 2012 and returned to Wheaton to look for work. Now I found myself avidly seeking a community of believers. I heard about Threefold through one of my mom's co-workers, and I went to the first Group Connect event in September.

After only a few short months in a Threefold Bible study, I had formed some of the most encouraging and spiritually challenging friendships that I had ever experienced. Not only was I engaging with Scripture in a deep, meaningful way, I was also learning to confess my sins and pursue God as my ultimate source of satisfaction and joy. More importantly, I was learning how to support others in their personal walks with the Lord.

During the past two-and-half years, my friendships in Threefold have grown, and through them, God is teaching me to find love and support in the church body. Truthfully, it has been challenging for me to find contentment in my singleness, particularly because the church doesn't seem to know quite what to do with us young singles. God is using my community to encourage me to seek my contentment in him, not in my desire to have a marriage, which is how it should be for everyone, regardless of their marital status.

As I search for joy in singleness, I have found that God has removed some of the bitterness that I felt toward the church regarding its view of those who are single, and have found that it is possible for married and single people to form friendships and learn from one another.

As I reflect on this, I can see that God has provided a family for me at College Church. One that is not dependent on blood relations, but one that is rooted in the redeeming blood of Christ.

In this family, I can use my gifts to serve, and God has provided me with several opportunities through which to do this, particularly in the STARS disability ministry. The past three years, I have had the privilege of serving as a teacher's aid in the teen STARS Supernova classroom on Sunday mornings and helping out with Friday Night Fun. I became involved in STARS to minister to others, but quickly realized that I was learning just as much, if not more, from the STARS as I was sharing with them.

My growing involvement in the church led me to become a member in fall 2014, and in this new role, I trust God to continue to grow my relationships with my fellow church family members.

While I know that my spiritual journey will continue for the rest of my life, I also know that God has provided significant spiritual growth through my experiences in Threefold and STARS. He has also challenged my prejudices by immersing me in a family that is blind to the lines of race, socio-economic status, IQ and gender . . . lines that were erased at the Cross.