The New York Times article podcast promised I could choose my own meditation from its list of seven five-minute meditations. All promised to calm my mind, transport me to a happier place and leave me energized. I thought that was what my first cup of coffee of the day was meant to do. Whatever. I continued to sip that first cup as I read the list of meditations from which to choose.

Taming Negative Thoughts
De-stress at Your Desk
Invite Stillness
Time Just for You
Beat the Blahs
Inner Staycation
Calm During Crisis

My mind raced as I chose my meditation. Tame those negative thoughts, check. De-stress, check but highly unlikely. Stillness, check. Me time, do not like this phrase at all. Beat the Blahs, check. Inner staycation, clever. But the clear winner was Calm During Crisis.

I touched play, and my five-minute meditation began—with breathing. Well, not just ordinary breathing but deep relaxing breathing to find the space between my breaths and thoughts. The deep breathing did sort of calm me, which was good since what came next totally threw me.

In a soft voice, my meditation guide encouraged me that I can help, heal, serve others with my special talents. Do what fulfills me.

“You are the one you have been waiting for,” the guide continued. I stopped breathing altogether as I choked out, “You have got to be kidding me.”

My five-minute mediation ended in a record two minutes and sixteen seconds, but it did give me a few unintended take-aways.

Waiting for oneself will always disappoint.
Simeon and Anna weren’t waiting for themselves when they went to the temple. Instead, gospel writer Luke shows Simeon holding that eight-day-old baby high, ready to depart in peace, because “my eyes have seen your salvation that you have prepared in the presence of all peoples, a light for revelation to the Gentiles, and for glory to your people Israel.” (Luke 2:30-32) Simeon had waited for this baby for years, and he wasn’t disappointed.

We see Anna, prophetess, widow, old, giving thanks to God and telling all who were waiting—surprise--not for themselves, but for the redemption of Jerusalem. The Savior, the one they had been waiting for had arrived. I wonder if advanced-in-age Anna had a new spring to her step as she passed along the news of great joy to all the people.

Calming the crisis may take our breath away.
Luke also shows us Jesus, calm in the crisis, breathing deeply because, well, he was fast asleep in the boat as the wind and waves crashed and slammed into it. The disciples woke up Jesus, convinced they were perishing, and what he did next probably took their breath away. Jesus spoke and the wind and raging waves ceased.

My mediation guide had been advising me to be fully present as I breathed. I was pretty sure the guide wasn't thinking about Jesus; nonetheless, Jesus was fully present on the cross struggling to breathe, becoming sin for us. Jesus was fully present when he breathed his last and called out, “Father, into your hands I commit my spirit" (Luke 23:46)

Jesus was so fully present in his last breath that Mark tells us that when “the centurion, who stood facing him, saw that in this way he breathed his last, he said, ‘Truly this man was the Son of God!’” (Mark 15:39)

Me space or God space?
My meditation guide also told me in oh-so soothing tones to cultivate the space between my thoughts and breathing and fulfill myself before I can help, heal and serve others. Two thoughts: how unlike Jesus this is and how like me it is. I don’t need too much encouragement to look after my own interests.

Instead, as followers of Christ, we now live in a space that is bigger than our own interests, opinions and political leanings. It isn't really me doing the work, but God in and through me.

We live in that space between Anna and Simeon and Jesus’ second advent. The now and not-yet space when God’s kingdom comes. In this space, we cultivate fruit such as love, joy, peace, meekness. We cultivate wisdom from above that is “first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere. And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.” (James 3:17-18)

Jesus is the one we are living for. Not my will but his. We are truly different when we sacrifice self for others. We should live like Jesus so when we breathe our last or simply take a deep breath and exhale, someone will say, “Truly this person is a child of God."